DAY 013: The plans, they are a-changin'【DADBOD.REHAB】 Fuck yeah, we were thinking to ourselves, as we put the finishing touches on our baseline test. Let’s make these fuckers do not just push-ups and sit-ups, but burpees too! Ha ha ha!
Suddenly, there was a huge POW!!! sound as our layer used his heavy metal briefcase as a battering ram to smash down the door.
“Hm, this probably isn’t good,” somebody said.
“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!” he thundered.
He brought some of his paralegals or whatever with him, too, and they started going through our computers without asking, and jumping on desks and generally going ape-shit.
“Uhm, …what’s the problem, dude?” somebody asked.
“THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE OPERATING A WEBSITE THAT IS DISPENSING MEDICAL ADVICE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC WITHOUT THE PROPER LIABILITY SAFEGUARDS!” he roared.
“What? No, dude, first of all it’s not really public yet, it’s just a friends-and-family beta version, and it is definitely not medical advice, bro.”
“SHOW ME!” he shouted menacingly.
We looked at each other. “Wha— what do you mean show you?”
“I MEAN PRODUCE THE SECTION OF THE TERMS OF SERVICE THAT MAKE CLEAR THAT THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. YOU KNOW… IN THE TERMS OF SERVICE THAT ALL OF YOUR USERS AGREED TO.” he growled.
We looked at each other again.
“Oh,” somebody said.
“Um, yeah, we don’t have that,” someone else said. “But, I mean… could you maybe draft one for us?”
“HA! HA HA!” he growled. “AS IF YOU COULD AFFORD THAT!”
What we could afford, he told us, was for one of his LLM AIs to generate a Terms of Service for us. It would be a little rough around the edges, he said, but it would be good enough for our purposes.
Then he tossed us a huge stack of printouts of our web server logs, turned on his heel, and left.
We looked at the printouts.
“Hmm,” somebody said. “It does seem like 17 unique users have visited the site so far. I thought there were only 9. ”
So, this is a little setback. All 17 users (including us, and our lawyer, lol) will have to enjoy being fat and lazy for a couple more days. Tomorrow is the scheduled day off anyway, so we should be back next week to start the minicamp — but we’ll tweak it to use the first day of the minicamp it to get the baseline test done.
In the meantime, we’ll get a minimal login system set up, add some kind of yellow contruction tape 🚧 BETA! BETA! BETA!!! 🚧 bar thingie to the top of every page, add a few choice words to the the fuckin’ lawyer’s Terms of Service, and then make you agree to it next time.
In the meantime, you can:
…otherwise, continue practicing the daily data-collection routine, and relish the unexpected downtime.
See you next week! We sincerly regret the inconvenience and blah blah blah.