DAY 006: Tooling đ§ăDADBOD.REHABă This is the key to almost any kind of diet, whether the dieter is aware of it or not. The saying, âThe best diet is the one you stick to,â is both true and a reductionist oversimplification. Duh, bro. The other 98% of the point is how to succeed in doing that.
Vegetables, as used in this program, make it a shit-ton easier to stick to the plan that weâll construct for you in the days ahead.
Weâll introduce several high-efficiency vegetable combos that you can easily maintain a constant supply of, transport, and deploy at strategic times to dramatically reduce the occurrence of the most common eating fuck-ups (e.g the âworked late and skipped dinner, so then I was starving and ate dumb shitâ fuck-up, the âgot drunk enough to say fuck it, and have that American FourthMealâ˘ÂŽâ ââ fuck-up, etc.)
Again: doesnât matter if you hate them. If so, it just means theyâre a tool that works great, but â like many other incredibly useful tools â isnât enjoyable to use. (We make it quick, though.)
The second thing you absolutely need is a body-weight scale. We strongly recommend one that can beam your data wirelessly to your phone or your computer or whatever cloud-based shit you want to use.
Body weight, by itself, isnât that useful; it is much more important to know your body fat percentage.
Unfortunately, body fat percentage canât reasonably be measured at home with good accuracy. Still, some scales have a feature that estimates it by having you stand barefoot on metal pads, maybe while also holding a conductive metal handle, and then shooting your body with low-voltage electricity containing tiny microchips made by Bill Gates and Big Pharma to exert mind control over you, and also measure your body fat. This is better than nothing, so get a scale like this if itâs not too crazy expensive. (Optional, though. We can infer the trend of your body fat in other ways instead.)
You need a good scale that can weigh food by the gram, even if the amount is small (e.g. 5g of butter). If you have a cocaine scale left over from college, itâll probably work, as long as you were flippinâ chickens and not dimes and nickels â otherwise, $10 will get you one from Amazon.
Protip: Get two. Itâs annoying to have to go back to the kitchen to get it when you need to use it where you eat â only to then later have to go back to where you eat to fetch it when you need it in the kitchen again.
You need a journal to record your ingestion of food/drink/other. Anything that has calories, and if you are going to be using supplements of some kind (we wonât ask you to do that, but itâs fine if you do) then it really makes sense to record those ingestions, too.
You are going to have to record the major items you ate (meals and macronutrients) and drank, every day for at least some stretches of time, and therefore weâll become extremely efficient at doing that. So it shouldnât be much extra work to log any supplements, too.
There is almost no scenario where you shouldnât use an app for this. Now that we can do it, it is pretty weird to live without the ability to scan a bar code or enter the name of a common food item, and get nutrition and kcal information immediately. In theory you could still use a notebook, like the old days, but not really.
You will need this, and similar advice applies. The âappâ as we generally mean it in 2023 is by far the best way to track this, even though the old ways do still work.
But weâll cover this next week, when we start to figure out the workout plan you are going to use.
If you have one of these, or can get one, they are really useful sometimes. Mainly this is when your blood pressure is non-optimal when you start the program â in that case rehabbing the dadbod also has the side effect of dramatically improving blood pressure. Strictly speaking, this isnât relevant to the program, but it is super interesting to know when it happens, and for most people, highly motivating.
If so, then you should also:
Order this stuff today, because you will need it on DAY 015 which is when shit gets real and is also⌠pretty soon!
If you arenât ordering online, and are planning some sort of Amazon protest move, like going to a store to buy these items, or some crazy shit like that, then weâll accept ânoted on my calendar the date and time this week that I will go to buy itâ as a valid equivalent to âorderedâ.
Thatâs it. The B.R.A.I.N. should list these objectives for today:
Good luck! đ¸
NOTE: DAY 007 is this weekâs DAY OFF. See you on DAY 008