DAY 002: DAY 002【DADBOD.REHAB】

DAY 002

Welcome back.

You’re already doing better than the average guy who suddenly tries to rectify his gut-sag or nichons d’homme — the best estimates suggest that the average duration of 60% to 85% of such attempts is one day.

Well, we’re now here on DAY 002, so as long as we’re using days as our unit of measure, and not minutes or hours — which we absolutely are — you’ve got all those chumps beaten handily!

This raises an important point, though: what do you do in the DADBOD.REHAB program when you FAIL?

As it happens, the DADBOD.REHAB Examination and Recomposition Protocol (the D.E.R.P.) incorporates a diverse set of strategies to reprogram and compensate for failures and transient setbacks, and also to reduce the probability of them ocurring in the first place, or (worse) recurring or (even worse) compounding.

So what does that mean, specifically? What if, for example, you missed a workout that you had intended and decided to perform? What if the previous day of DADBOD.REHAB left you with a concrete task that you had to do before the next session, and you didn’t, or even couldn’t do it for some reason?

Let’s find out!

You’ve gotten only one homework assignment so far, in your DADBOD.REHAB adventure. Hopefully, since it was just yesterday in DAY 001, you remember it:

The only task for Day 1 is to form the intention to continue with the program tomorrow… and then to actually do it

So just fail at that, and see what happens!

⏳…⌛️

OK, yeah, you can‘t actually fail at that, because you are already here, which means you already formed the successful intention to be here, right now, doing this, which means you’ve already succeeded in doing that, too.

Woah… 🤯 it’s a paradox! Which is ironic, in exactly the same way that it’s a paradox. As in, it’s not; that’s not what paradox means, and (ahem) irregardless of that, there isn’t (nor would there be if things were otherwise) anything ironic about it.

Now, if you were, say, trying to multitask by reading this while simultaneously listening to your voicemail, you might think, Aha! The paradox is that today’s task is to fail at yesterday’s task, which is already completed!

But then when you hung up the phone, you’d realize Well, that’s not a paradox either, it’s just two contradictory goals that can’t both be accomplished and while that is indeed true, it is now irrelevant because while you were checking your voicemail we changed the intention and outcome anyhow, and today’s homework is now:

This is indeed the kind of simple thing you will often have to do to complete this program — yes, sorry, the D.E.R.P. can be done in only 5 minutes per day, but it cannot be done without vegetables.

But don’t worry too hard about that now! Because you aren’t really going to get them yet. In this instance only, you are going to (pretend to) intend to obtain veggies… and then fail.

Make sure not to accidentally get any vegetables, and then show up tomorrow, to find out how the D.E.R.P. handles F.A.I.L.[1]